Heisgreaterthani’s Blog

Ok so let me start off by apologizing for how long it has been since I last posted anything. But in all honesty you were fair warned when I started this thing how bad I can be at it. The real reason as to why it has been so long is that I have been being taught so many things this past month or so and had no idea how to express it in words exactly. That is, until now!

Have you ever heard of the book, Lady in Waiting? Well ladies might have but guys, well maybe not. Anyways. This book just takes you through a study on how to recklessly abandon yourself to the Lord and live each day for Him, not depressing over another dateless night or year. Well for the most part I have been pretty ok with not dating anyone. It has not kept me up at night, has not caused me tears, has not stressed me out or made me depressed. So needless to say I did not start reading this book for those reasons. I actually started going to a Bible study at church that was going over the book. I started by not getting the book, just feeling it out to see if I really wanted to be at this study. Well about the third week into it I just had this tugging on my heart that I really should get it and start reading from the beginning. Let me just tell you that it was the greatest thing I ever did (well… maybe not but in this sense it was). Each chapter of the book explains a different “Lady of…” that help you recklessly abandon yourself to the Lord and what a wonderful thing it is. As I was reading the “Lady in Devotion” chapter it was really hitting home for me. It was talking about how you should rejoice in the fact that you are not in a relationship because you have that much more time to dive even more into the gloriousness of Him. How you should not sit at home depressed that you are not with someone, but should instead look at this as the greatest opportunity to perfect the only true relationship that matters. The Lord is your, and should always remain, your Heavenly Husband and there is no man on earth that is going to take that place. Your singleness is a time to learn how to desire Him with all of your heart, to not be able to go a day without spending time with Him just like you cant go a day without getting coffee or watching your favorite tv show or being with/talking to that special someone. Your relationship with your Heavenly Husband should be the one thing in your life that is constant and always growing.

So that is what the chapter is about. Hits home right? Dont you wish you had that type of a relationship with your Heavenly Father and stopped worryin about the men in this world that let you down all the time? Man… So after I finished reading it I realized that even though I was ok with not dating anyone I was not ok with not having close friends. I filled that void of a relationship with friends. I was with and surrounded by them all the time, even if just to sit around and do nothing. So when the Lord kept trying and kept trying to show me that I needed more of Him I didnt listen because I thought, “well I am surrounded by all these great Christian people that lift me up and teach me things. It’s not like I am going out partying or anything.” I just assumed that I was ok because of that. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Man I cant believe, looking back now, that that was my mentality. He tried so hard to get my attention and I just would not listen that the only thing left for Him to do was to cancel out anything happening in Florida (where my friends were) for me and move me all the way to Arizona (where I knew nobody and was not physically surrounded by that Christian family). Ouch! That was a wake up call for sure.

So since March 19th when I moved out here it has been me and my Heavenly Husband starting from square one basically. I knew He moved me here to get me away from my crutch back home but had no idea, until reading this book, that it went as deep as it did. Some might think that I would be devistated to realize that I was so hardened to the idea of growing back then, but I am really not. Because if it were not for this move out here I would not be in the same place I am right now and learning the amazing things I am.

Now comes the second part to things being done. As some of you know, the job I had out here was not the greatest working environment in the world. Through a serious of really hard events at work and many tears b/c of work I really felt like I could not work for someone that treated his employees the way this veterinarian did. I could not, daily, stand up front and promote him when he treated us the way he did. I knew that, now, was the right time to quit and that the Lord would work something out from there. So on Saturday I quit my job. My office manager was completely understanding because she has had mulitiple people quit on account of this vet, some havent even given an explanation they just walk out. Well it seems that the vet prides himself, or just doesnt care, on his behavior. The day before quitting I prayed and prayed about what I was going to do and what was the right thing to do. I still new nobody out here, it just never seemed to be working out for me to hang out with people my own age (well girls that is. I have hung out with my cousins guy friends but thats just different). I realized that after everything that has happened and everything the Lord has taught me and made me stronger in that He was ready for me to do this while I am surrounded by my friends.

I know that this time in Arizona has been well worth it. Some people may look at me and think, “you didnt give Arizona a chance, why on earth would He have you move all the way there just to show you that?” And I would say that you are wrong. Coming here was not about giving the state a chance it was about it only being me and God. Nobody else and nothing else mattered. I was not out here to “make it big” or “start a new life”. I was here to learn how to live my life for Him and not just talk about doing it. All of that to say, IM COMING HOME!!! That’s right, I am trecking across country yet again and coming back to where I belong, for now.

Thank you all so much for keeping up with this, but dont worry I will still be updating you on my life and whats happening next for me because I have a feeling that things are not done yet. I think my life is just about to get a little bit more exciting! I just have this feeling! I love you all and hope that you daily follow Him and dont just push away when He tugs at your heart. Listen to Him, He tends to know what He is talking about.

Man this is the craziest thought i have had since being here i think. The other day I was talking to some wonderful ladies I met on a small missions trip and I was telling them about my life and the struggles I have been dealing with and working through. I told them that I had applied to a job at my old school to just see what happens but that after applying I kept lifting it up in prayer and was just not feeling good about taking the job (if it would even be offered to me). The Lord just kept telling me that I am strong enough to stay here and continually grow and that I will be able to survive without my friends so near(physically) to me. I have this internal battle going on even still but the more I pray about it the more the Lord reveals to me that this is the truth and that staying in Arizona is what I am going to be doing for now. I really like where my life is right now and I think not having friends to run to has been good b/c when I do have issues or am a bit depressed I run to my Maker, which is always so much more rewarding. BUT… I am excited for the fact that I get to go visit all those wonderful friends of mine in less than a week! Man I can hardly wait to see them and squeeze them!

Have you ever had that job that you just cant stand? I am sure you have, most people have. Now is my time for that job I guess. It’s not that I hate it I just really would like to be doing something that would help me for the future. Something that would benefit me when it comes time for me to open my own business (which is my ultimate goal). The Lord gets me through each day though by giving me strength that I never knew I had. He reminds me that I am doing this work for Him ultimately, not for me. And, after all, I have a job and that is a blessing in itself.

That’s it for now. Love to you all! He is so great!!!!

I know its been awhile since I have posted anything but I wanted to wait til I had more than just a few sentences to write. So last week I started my first job in the real world since graduation. Crazy! I am working as a receptionist at an animal hospital. It started out fine through the interview process and all but as I was about to start my first day the Lord, I sincerely believe it was Him, put this weird feeling inside me about the job. I am not really sure, still, why completley it is there but it is and I am daily putting it all in the Lord’s hands. I am not to crazy about the job but it’s a job, and thats what I needed. He put me here for a reason and, as a friend reminded me, I am working for the Lord not man (Colossians 3:23) so that keeps me going. I am starting to think that the Lord placed me in this position for now so that I could see just how much the world needs Him, even more than I knew before. The people I work with are so lost and in need of Him, but so not wanting anything to do with it. My first day working my boss could not believe things were closed on Easter Sunday, “after all its not like its a huge holiday like Christmas or something” (those were her words). My heart broke and I was stunned with silence. How on earth could someone think that it was not a “huge deal”? And now looking back on the situation I should have opened my mouth and let her know that it is a big deal and without that day we would not have the promise that He will come again for us and that He died for us alone! What was I thinking? Man! All I can say is that I was completely shocked speechless, but now the Lord has gotten my heart ready if an opportunity like that comes around again. So please pray for me and my time at the job, that the Lord will continue to comfort me about the job and that I will continue to work it for Him and Him alone!

I’M A BRIDESMAID!!! I have never been honestly asked to be in a wedding because they wanted me to be in it. One of my dearest and best friends is getting married in 3 weeks and asked me yesterday if I would be a bridesmaid for her. What kind of question is that?!? OF COURSE! Man I was/still am so honored that she would think of me in that way. Needless to say I am even more excited to go back to West Palm Beach in 16 days than I was before. Now I get to be apart of the joining of two lives for the Lord, what more could I ask for? These two lives are so precious to the Lord and I know for certain that He put them together for greater reasons than they could ever imagine or wish for. I can not wait to see where the Lord leads them in the years to come. I so enjoy the thought of weddings when I know that the Lord is, and will forever be, the center of the couple’s lives and that the joining of the two will only strength the Lord’s kingdom. Isn’t that a great thought?

The final thing that I have to say is that things in my life might be changing and I just ask for prayer. Prayer for guidance to make the right decisions when/if the opportunity comes my way. I want my life to glorify the Lord, which means that every change in my life needs to be made because its the will of the Lord. I can not exactly at the moment tell the world what exactly might be changing, all I can ask for is prayer. Sooner or later the change may or may not be revealed. Vague… yes, sorry.

HE is most definitely greater than i and i will forever serve HIM!

Many of you are probably wondering, where exactly is Vail? Well it is this small town just outside of Tucson full of amazing God fearing people, that I got the opportunity to work alongside this past weekend. Here is how it all began:
My aunt and uncle that live in Vegas were telling me about how they were going to do this mission trip just outside Tucson to help a newly planted church prayer walk and invite the communities to their Easter service. This sounded like a great mission trip for me, being that I have never been on one before. I told them that if I did not have a job by the time that they went that I would LOVE to go with them. Well I did not get any job offers, nor have I yet, so I made the trip with them to Vail, Arizona.
The town has 17 schools and probably thousands of homes and 1 Walgreens. That is it. They are a community known for the amazing school district. Notice how I did not mention a church? That is right, other than a Catholic church there is nowhere for those seeking the Lord to meet and fellowship at. That is where Steve and Jay (the pastors of Grace Fellowship) come into play. Steve felt the Lord calling him to move here and plant the church that this community so desperately needs, so he got Jay to come with him. Their families moved here all the way from Birmingham, Alabama.

These families are AMAZING! The whole weekend they loved on and served those of us that came to help them. They could not believe that we would take a weekend and help people we didnt even know. It was the best weekend I have had in such a very long time. The Lord stretched me and taught me amazing things all weekend. From small lessons to big ones. My eyes were more opened to the world and how unsaved it really is, in a sense I think I had blinders on to all of it and just thought everyone was like me and loved the Lord with all their heart too. That is definitely not the case though! 93% of Tucson is unsaved. Can you believe that???!!! That is just crazy to think about.

The last day we were there Steve’s wife, Shari, invited me to come live with her family for free and become a substitute teacher for the school district in order to make some money. I was blown away that she would open her house up to me when she has 4 kids ages 4 to 13. Who does that? I told her that I would pray about it and if that is what the Lord was wanting for me that it would happen. I also told her that I am pretty much up for anything, I dont have any expectations for my time in Arizona; however long or short that may be. The Lord is completely at the reigns for me here and there is nothing I would want more than that.

While we were packing my aunt joked about how my cousin would see a change in me and I said something like, “no he wont notice anything.” Well she said she was completely joking and asked, “you have changed?” My response was that I dont think I necessarily changed, but my eyes were just opened to how ignorant I was to the world before this. I had never been involved in a prayer walk or even involved in a church that was just newly blossoming. So change… no… but eye opening moments… YES!

Now I am back at home and completely confused as to what I need to do or exactly pray for. Do I look into moving to Vail? Do I continue to apply for jobs here? Who knows. I am just going to take each day as it comes and see what happens. I don’t think that the Lord wants me to just sit around and wait for some “sign” in order to answer these questions though, so I will probably just continue to apply for jobs AND look into substitute teaching in Vail.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement, it means the world to me!

He is so much greater than us, and so many dont even know that. What will you do about that?

Well I have been here for just over a week now and I must say that I am completely at peace with being here. I know that this is exactly where the Lord is wanting me right now. My heart sure does miss everyone more than words can express but I know that those people are thinking of me and would want the best for me.

I’m going to be honest it sure is hard not knowing anyone here. I feel like I am tagging along on other people’s lives still. I hate that feeling. I ask that you please dont stop praying for me.

Now that I think about it it kind of sounds like I am not completely at peace with being here but I am just telling myself I am to try and convince my heart of it. I KNOW that this is where the Lord wants me but I dont think that my heart will be COMPLETELY ok with that until I get my own life here. Actually I know that my heart wont be ok with that until then. But I guess that is just another step in finding out just how Soveirgn the Lord is in your life. He knows what my next steps are going to be and I just have to trust Him with that and not try to take it into my own hands, you know. As humans we tend to do that, or at least I do. I try and figure my life out for myself without remembering that He already has all that taken care of, I just need to rely on Him. Sounds easy enough right? Wrong, it is hard as heck to remember that the One that created me has everything under control. How can one person know the outcome of every human beings life? Doesnt that blow your mind? It does mine. Slowly but surely I am realizing and trying to live that truth though. And you wanna know something? When I do realize and live it, boy is it wonderful!

The other day I got a phone call completely out of the blue from my best friend. It was not until then that I realized just how much I was trying to convince myself that I was at peace with being here, but really not. He called to fill me in on his life and tell me how apart of his family I am, nothing major really but to me it was everything. Growing up we moved around a lot and so I never really called people best friends or even good friends, it was all the same “friends”. I never let people get close enough to impact me that much because I didnt want to have to miss them when I moved (I did have a best friend in 5th grade though. That was my last real one until college (all others that may have been constinuted as that failed)).  Sometimes that works, for a certain length of time, but then the Lord charges in and takes over to show you just what He has in store. I never imagined that I would have the friends I ended up with through college. If someone would have told me about them before I would have thought they were lieing, that couldnt happen to me, I wouldnt let it just in case. Sure enough those people came to my life and changed me forever. I think about them everyday. Wondering what they are doing today, or how they are feeling, are they having a good day or a bad day, what would it be like if I was with them still. When I am thinking about that periodically surprisingly it doesnt make me sad really, it makes me appreciate them MORE! It makes me remember the times we were together and the fun/memorable moments we had. How can someone be sad about those times? So you see, my friends changed my life forever. Sure I miss each of them, but they will always be close to my heart and they know that. They know that even though I am on the other side of the country they can still call me for any reason, even if just to say hi.

So what is this voyage all about really? For me, it is about finding who I am through finding Christ. It is about finding out who the real me is, not who the world says I am or I should be. God has put me on this voyage to find Him again, to find His goodness and faithfulness. It’s a tough one but boy is it rewarding with each step I make.

He is and will forever be greater than you, give Him the credit He deserves! LOVE YOU!

Haha! Alright so you all may be wondering why the title of this blog is as such. Well as we, my cousin Andrew and I, were leaving Florida to embark on this amazing adventure that was the billboard sign we saw. My cousin is huge into hunting and all things guns, and he is very knowledgable in it all. That goes to say that if its manly he loves it. As you can tell this billboard then caught his eye and I guess you could say that it became the “theme” saying of our trip. Well I guess nothing more needs to be said about that.

Our first stop was at a families house in Pensacola that I used to babysit for (before the moved there). Man I missed them sooo much and their 3 little boys are definitely not as little as I remember them. We had a great time playing with them and just hanging out with a wonderful family. My cousin called being there with all boys (8 years old, and twin 3 year olds) great birth control. Haha! They are like a second family to me. This family was a God send for real. I am so happy to be apart of that family!

Our next adventurous stop was in New Orleans. We decided to take the time to explore a little bit and just take in the city. Well with that exploration came great moments: a man peeing on the railroad tracks the minute we exited our parking lot, a homeless man polishing my cousin’s slipper, and another homeless man with a sign that said “privite jet needs feul”. Oh yes that is how he was trying to get money! Notice how private is misspelled. Man I thought that was hillarious.

I am so greatful to have a cousin that I have gotten to be so close with. He was such a blessing at this time in my life. He gave up his spring break, took off work, and paid for a flight to come drive me back to Arizona. Who could ask for better? I thank God for him everyday, and you know what I dont even think he realizes how important that was to me. God sure does bless His children in ways we can not even imagine happening. If my cousin’s family had not come to my high school graduation we would not have ever gotten this close. I took advantage of that for so long and now I realize that it was so much more than I thought way back then. Whoa… how He loves us!

If you ever decide to take a trip cross country try to avoid Texas. Take it from me, it is not fun at all! You can try to make it fun but it is just not! There is so much I could say about what happened through our 900 mile drive through Texas but let me just keep it short: 70-80 deer feeding on the side of the road late at night= pulling off and sleeping at a rest stop, night time speed limit resulting in a ticket (Andrew was driving), a scenic overlook mini-hike that led to no where and seeing no more than you could saying on the ground, and finally an exit saying Starbucks AND chick fil a that ended in disappointment because of being unable to find chick fil a! That was as short as I could keep it. Point being… AVOID TEXAS!

After going through Texas we being our journey through New Mexico. Man the Lord really opened my eyes to the poverty and depression that comes near the border of Mexico. Border patrol was everywhere and the homes that you could see over the Mexican border were so sad looking. I guess immigration is just not something I really thought of before this because I’ve never seen it up close like this. I realized how big of a deal it is around here. People so badly want to have rights and be free and they are willing to treck through desert land in order to have a chance at it. That just blows my mind! To think that where they live is so bad that they are willing to risk death/inprisonment to be free. Wow! Next time you don’t think you are treated fair think of those that really have all their humanly rights taken away and think that the best thing to do is risk their lives to get it back, it will most definitely change your mind.

ARIZONA!!! After a long long trip we finally arrived in Arizona. We had almost given up hope on ever getting here. I am going to be honest, throughout this whole trip I tried not to think about my move very much and what exactly was going to happen in my life but the minute I entered Arizona it kind of all hit me. I am starting a new life pretty much. New environment, new church, new job, surround myself with new people that dont know anything about me. Wow! It honestly took my breath away, made my heart race, and made me start to think if this really was the right choice. But as I have said and will continue to say until the day that I die, the Lord blesses and provides for you when you least expect it. That blessing came in the form of my family here, they are amazing. They really are, they are doing anything they can to make me feel at home rather than feel like a visitor. It is hard to keep remembering that I am not a visitor anymore, I live here. I think I am going to like it here for the most part. I am going to like learning new things about the world and getting to know new people. God is good!

The first whole day that we were back there was air show that Andrew wanted to go to with his friends and he invited me to come too. So we went, me not really knowing what I was getting myself into. Come to find out, I am not a huge fan of air shows. I am sunburned beyond belief and have nothing to show for it. Haha. I did have fun hanging out with him and his friends though. It felt good to be with people that didnt really know anything about me. I guess I just like being mysterious in that sense, thats the only reason I can think of that I like not knowing anyone. I just have to remember that i need to make my own friends and not just rely on Andrew for friendships with his friends. I dont want to seem like that leech that just would never go away. But I know, just have to keep reminding myself, that when the Lord wants to bring people my way He will. He will not deprive me of that forever. But now, I need to focus on my friendship with Him and build that where it needs to be. That is most important!

That is all for now though. If anyone wants to visit please dont hesitate, a taste of home is always welcome! Love to you all!

Here I go everyone. I am doing it… finally! I am all packed and ready to move west. Picked up my cousin from the airport today so that he can drive with me. When we got home he asked me if I was nervous to leave and move across country but really I am not nervous. I know its what needs to happen in my life right now. It’s weird but I’m really not. Sure I will miss people (as I talked about in my last blog) but this time away will give me time to find more of myself by finding more of God and what He has for me. That is going to be my biggest struggle I think, is remembering that I dont have to be surrounded by friends in order to find myself. I need to be surrounded by God alone in order to find myself. I know it probably shouldnt sound scary to do that but it really does sound scary to me. If you think about it surrounding yourself with only God makes you the most vulnerable you could ever be because He knows EVERYTHING about you already. You cant hide anything like you can with your friends. That’s what I am most afraid of, being vulnerable… being completely transparent… letting my wall down and letting people in. That is why I know that this adventure He has set me on is going to be amazing! It is going to be the thing that radically changes my life and I absolutely can not wait for that to happen. I mean I feel like a kid at Christmas time waiting to open the wrapped presents under the tree… I am bursting with anticipation for what the “wrapped presents” are going to bring to my life! You know what I mean? Does anyone else get excited about things like that too, or is it just me?

As for the trip I am not to sure how much I am actually going to be able to get on the computer so I will be journalling along the way so that I can update you guys when I get to Arizona. We leave at 9am tomorrow with our first overnight stop being in Pensacola. After that I dont really see us stopping along the way but who knows what other adventures we will go on.

So this is probably goodbye for now and I look forward to talking with you from the other side of the country!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

So I thought I was doing good. I knew I would miss everyone that has had the biggest impacts on my life but its just now starting to hit me as to how much I will miss them. When will I see them again? Is this the last I will see them? These are the questions I am asking myself. I know that the Lord will provide my heart with the rest it needs from these questions but for the moment it hurts to think of those things.
The thing I have to keep remembering is that even if I dont see these people for awhile, when the time comes for us to see each other again it is going to be like we were never apart. That is the beauty of having the friends I have, we pick up where we left off. Isnt that the point in having friends? Isnt that the way friendships should be? That your hearts are so connected that time and distant do nothing but make you appreciate each other more. I truly think thats what friendships should be like all the time. Otherwise, whats the point in having friends?
I know this move to Arizona is going to be amazing and the Lord is going to teach me so many wonderful things about myself and the world. He is already showing me how strong of a person I am and I have not even left yet. He is already blessing me and showing me that this move IS what I need and it IS in His will. Apart of that assurance comes from Him speaking through those friends that I have. They are all so supportive of my move and know that it is what I need to do and know when I just need to hear that. I truly believe that it is the Lord speaking through them.

What is the solution? Push through with my Savior at my side and know that His will is perfect and over time it wont hurt as much.

He>i
I love you all!

This is a whole new experience for me. Why am I at a loss for thoughts and words when it come to just writing? A friend gave me the idea of starting this up so this is it…

So much has been running through my head lately and I just am trying to wrap my brain around it all. It all started when I graduated. Such a huge life adjustment. In school for at least 18 years and all of a sudden your done… now what?

The Lord is moving me to Arizona, that’s what! Wow! So many thoughts went through my head when I was told this is what I was going to do. Are you sure its the right thing? I mean that is so far away from everyone that has had the biggest impact on my life? Am I strong enough to make this big of a step? What if people forget me? Well you know what… once the Lord really cleared it up for me that this IS what I was going to do all those questions seemed to disappear (well they come up now and again but He helps me work through them). When my faith and trust is in Him none of that stuff matters. Sure I am going to miss Florida and everything/everyone it has offered me but something is waiting for me in Arizona that is going to blow my mind, I can feel it. And those friends I was afraid of leaving behind, I know that I impacted their lives and therefore will never be forgotten. With growing up comes shifting of roles people have in your life, I am learning that now.

Do I have a job there yet? No, but that is something that I am trusting the Lord with also. I know that if He is moving me there He has a plan for when I get there. I am living with family so He has already taken care of me in that aspect too!

I think I just may continue…

How many times do you find yourself rejoicing? Is it when you get cheap gas? Is it when you get that little extra money you were praying for? Do you ever think of rejoicing when things are not looking all that great? Have you thought of rejoicing when you have no job, no money, and bills to pay?

The Lord wants our rejoicing to continue when times are hard too. Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. i will say it again: REJOICE!” The Lord is Lord through the good and the bad, He is Lord now and forever. Everything we face is because He willed it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says that He will not give you anything you can not handle, and if you can not handle it He will give you a way out. This is something that I have been learning daily. I find myself feeling upset about my circumstances but when I rejoice in the fact that He has given me another day on this beautiful earth His love becomes more clear to me. I start to see that He has blessed me more than I am giving Him credit for. How can I be so greedy to want more, when He has already given me so much and continues to do that?

As the days go on I will keep updating everyone about the adventures the Lord is taking me on… I am excited about what is to come! And I have a feeling this isnt going to be the last time He has me move somewhere that is completley out of my comfort zone.

Love you all… and remember to rejoice in the Lord each day (whether it’s beautifully sunny or a hurricane is blowing through)! You will be happy you did!

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